Last year my focus was building grit. A little abstract, but I wanted to stick out things a bit more. And I dunno if I succeeded. Felt like I had the same wandering attention span.
The only thing that was really concrete was daily reading. Every morning was 20-30 pages. And by the new year, I read 40 books. Which surprised me.
Which hinted at that I needed some more structure. Something I never resonated with because it felt so constraining.
But I’m attempting that as a focus for this year.
Not structure of my own doing. Last year proved that was a folly. Daily reading worked because I delegated the reminders to my to-do app.
I think I’m more comfortable with structure when the maintenance is left to other things/people.
So in the span of this month, I’m effectively setting up guardrails to guide my activities. I found a therapist currently set at every two weeks for mental health check. I signed up for a fitness studio which is a step up from last year’s gym, and a budgetary notch below a personal trainer. That’s a sweet spot. Setting up more explicit art goals, close to committing to a single medium even. Even on a random way, I committed to getting allergy shots which if it works should have great long-term benefits for general well-being.
Leaving it nimble for now, but if the job environment clarifies in a certain way — there might be some finer goals to set around that.
It’s feeling okay for now. I think there’s something to realizing not only your needs, but how those needs are fulfilled. And there’s a certain privilege to be able to effectively throw money at the problem.
For example, I was going to a cheap gym last year. But now I’m paying double. But having someone think of exercise sets, having a positive atmosphere, and seeing other people work hard has made exercise a lot stickier. It’s delegating the secret costs: deciding what to do at the gym, committing time to it, and preventing the little cheats I do when I’m on my own.
So that’s my intents for this year: structured commitment.
Dynamic Hypocrisy 