Existential Anything

You can grow up to be anything.

It’s weird to have to deal with a cultural aphorism as an individual. Our brains are all wired too differently to ever effectively process it the way it was intended. Growing up in the US suburbs during 90s means I grew up in probably the most overall supportive generation ever in history. Helicopter parents in minivans, school teachers afraid of lawsuits, and a general sense of Clinton frivolity meant the kid-gloves never really came off. 

And everyone was so supportive. Of course, you can grow up to be an astronaut. Or scientist. Or famous. Just don’t do drugs, and go to college. And it’ll all work out. 

(One housing crisis hangover later, and the landscape is a bit different. But nevertheless.)

The unintended consequence of being so supportive though is that some of my peers are existentially lost. Turns out if you spend your life thinking you can be anything, you may have forgotten to pick something in the meantime. Or worst, anything you do end up picking just feels like you’ve given up on everything else. 

It’s a strange feeling that’s probably foreign to any previous generation. Which makes sense on why the collective-they never even thought to prepare anyone for it. 

I imagine if I was born even 80 years earlier. Most likely I’d already know what I’d be spending the rest of my life doing. My father would have been a farmer, or a shop owner, or a craftsman. And as a kid I’d already be helping him out, and eventually take over when he got too old. And then at some point, I find a suitable mate with solid birthing hips, and repeat the cycle. 

That notion sounds like the very definition of anathema to anyone my age today, but there’s something nice in the clarity. The clearness of which I have a purpose in life. The simplicity of a goal already defined. 

But details aside, I think there’s something fundamental to both ends. It’s essential for someone, anyone, to feel that they have a place, a goal, a purpose. At the same time, in the search for it—there should be joy within that journey. 

There should be pleasure in chasing butterflies with that net, and also a confidence that it’s butterflies that you want to be chasing.